Memories & Secrets
by loverofakatsuki
Summary: Deidara, Tobi, and Olivia recollect on some awkward, funny, sexual memories that has happened. Some that were known but some never were revealed; not to mention the naughty eavesdroppers listening to their conversation. Rated M for language and LEMON/SMUT/YAOI. Cast:OC,Dei,Tobi,Kaku,Hida,Ita,Kisa,Zet,Saso,Mada
1. New game & Misunderstanding

Deidara, Tobi, and I were sitting at the table contemplating what to do today. Yes, we were bored.

It took only a few minutes when Deidara smirked, in an almost evil way too, "I have an idea un." "What is it sempai?" "How about we reminisce on events that have happened since we all began to live together…..including things no one knows about un?"

I cocked an eyebrow, "You mean, like we tell each other about weird things that has happened to us? That we recall or don't recall?"

Tobi pouted, "Sexual or awkward stuff that no one aside from us knows about sempai?" That evil grin spread wider, "That's exactly what I'm referring to. It can be about anything and to make it simple, we'll ask each other questions un."

Tobi shook his head, "Tobi doesn't know about this, what if the others find out?" I glanced over at him, "I agree and what if we get into trouble depending on the question?" Deidara chuckled, "Come on, it's practically truth or dare here except just the truth part. It'll be fun and we'll get a laugh un."

"Why not, let's do it." "Tobi's game and since sempai came up with the idea, he gets to start." Deidara opened his drink and smirked at me, "What's the most awkward incident you had with Kakuzu un?"

"Before I lived here?" "Yes un." I took a swig of my Dr. Pepper and smirked, "It was really funny." Tobi nudged me, "Come on Olivee, tell us! What happened?" I sighed, "Just so you know, this is _before _I was his lover."

_I had an awful nightmare and woke up with a jump, panting like crazy and couldn't go back to sleep. I was too scared to, so I grabbed my pillow and stood outside Kakuzu's door._

'_This is a bad idea, what if he tries to hurt or yells at me for wanting to sleep with him? But, I just don't want to be alone right now.'_

_I took a deep breath and knocked on his door, more like a peck, and waited. I was about to knock again when the door opened, revealing a scowling Kakuzu. I was in shock from that expression and frowned when those piercing eyes were boring holes into my own._

"_There had better be a good reason to why you woke me up in the middle of the night."I fiddled nervously with my pillow and muttered, "Um, can I….sleep with you?" _

_He cocked an eyebrow, "Pardon?" "Can I sleep with you tonight?" That scowl turned into a blank look. "Why?" _

_I blushed a little, "I can't sleep." "Why not?" "I rather not say, it's embarrassing." "Fair enough, but why me?" "Hmm?" "You could have gone to Hidan." I scowled, "I feel….safe….with you…..and Hidan….not so much." _

_Kakuzu's lips turned into a very, VERY, faint smirk but didn't say anything. I stood there, waiting for him to say yes or no but he didn't say anything at all. I sighed muttering, "Just forget it." _

_Before I could leave he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, "Did I say no?" I shook my head and he let go of my arm, "Come on then." I was nervous to go into his room as it was but I shook the feeling off. I was afraid and didn't want to be alone._

_I hopped into his bed and stretched out onto my side, feeling him slide in next to me. "Have you ever slept with anyone before?" I opened my eyes, "Uh, no why?" _

_My parents would never let me; called me a coward and big baby the fucking bastards. Thus, I never went to sleep at all until the next day. "You need to be closer than that." _

_I blinked a few times and shrugged, "Ok." I scooted real close to him but apparently that wasn't close enough. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to where we were in full body contact. _

_My breathing hitched and gulped. I didn't know he liked to cuddle. After a few moments I heard him sigh and he flipped me onto my back. Before I knew it he was KISSING me! I was so confused and quickly became disoriented from it._

_It felt nice and I really liked it. He straddled me as his hands wandered up my shirt, his tongue gliding into my mouth with ease. Why? Why is he….._

_I grunted and resisted, trying to push him away when he seemed to catch the hint. He pulled back with a growl, "Don't tell me you're changing your mind?" "Why?" "Why what?" "Why are you kissing and touching me?"_

_He furrowed his eyebrows, "That's what people do when they have sex. I didn't believe you to be this naïve about it." My mouth dropped, "Sex? I didn't want to have sex?" "You came to my room and wanted to sleep with me. What else could you have meant?"_

_I babbled, "I meant what I said. I just wanted to sleep with you, not have sex, to just share the same bed." _

_He crawled off me with a sullen look and grumbled, "Why?" I muttered, "I had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone. I'm sorry you got the wrong idea." He impatiently taps his finger on the bed then glares at me, "Sorry isn't good enough." _

_He straddled me again and pinned me down, "Despite the misunderstanding, I now have a problem to deal with and am not going back to sleep until it's taken care of." _

_I bit my lip and whimpered, "Y..You…wo…wouldn't…." He just leaned closer, "Yes I will. Don't worry, I won't rape you. Consider this making out."_

Tobi and Deidara were making the funniest faces of shock at me when I trailed off from there. "And un?" I grinned, "He was true to his word. He made out with me until he got his release. At least he was nice enough to finish me, even though I was very vulnerable and inexperienced."

"But Tobi thought Olivee had sex before with….uh….." Deidara slapped him upside the head, "Nice going fool un." I knew what he was referring to but it was alright.

"It's ok Dei, even with my….ex…lover I never really enjoyed myself or got anything out of it. I wanted Kakuzu to go all the way by the time he tortured me with all that foreplay the big tease."

Deidara smirked, "He wanted you so there was no doubt about that. I'm surprised he held out without shoving into you though un." I smirked, "I was too but there you go." Tobi laughed, "Kakuzu thought Olivee wanted sex! Tobi can see his face when he found out she didn't!"

I smirked, "Hey, do you guys remember when we got caught showering together for the first time?" Deidara grunted, "How could we forget un?" "We got chewed out!"

**To be continued:**

***This story just for laughs, but will contain smut don't worry. Just don't know when ;)***


	2. Shower & Threats

_It wasn't long when they all moved in together and Deidara, Tobi, and Olivia were sharing one bathroom. Well, they got the idea that if they showered together it would save money on the hot water bill and them from Kakuzu's wrath when the bill went up._

_It wasn't their fault, the apartment has three bathrooms, but the bill was a problem none the less. They've walked in and seen each other naked enough to not care anymore so why not shower together? The only thing is…..no one else knew about it until that faithful day._

_Sasori went into their bathroom, having seen Deidara go in to shower, wanting to ask his brat a question. "Hey brat do you know…." He trailed off as he pulled back the curtain and cocked an eyebrow. _

_Talk about an ominous silence. Olivia and Tobi were blushing like crazy and Deidara's mouth dropped. Sasori left with no expression and went into the living room. He pointed at Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetsu. "You three need to come with me to resolve an issue."_

"_**What issue?"**__ "Our lovers are showering together." Kisame was the first to jump up, after pushing Hidan out of the way to get in there. "KISAME GET BACK HERE!" Kakuzu looked at Itachi, "You're not going to stop him?" _

_The Uchiha just shrugged, "He's a pervert what can I do?" The three poor uke's were caught in the middle of a huge argument, pulled out, not being able to dry off once they were given a towel, and tossed back and forth between the seme's._

"_What were you thinking Tobi?" "But Zetsu let Tobi explain." Sasori had Deidara pinned against the wall, "Am I not good enough for you to resort to something like this brat?" The blonde gulped, "You got the wrong idea Danna un!" _

_Hidan jerked Olivia from Kisame, "Get your fucking hands off her and get out!" Kakuzu agreed, "This doesn't concern you Kisame!" "I just wanted a feel." "OUT!" Hidan shoved him out the door and Kakuzu growled at her, "What did the three of you do?" "Nothing."_

"_Don't fucking lie to us! What the fuck were you doing with them?" She whimpered, "We were just taking a shower together and that's it I swear!" Zetsu took Tobi by the ear and left the room with Tobi crying, "Tobi sorry! Stop pulling his ear Zetsu it hurts!" _

_Deidara was the next one to be led away by a fistful of his hair. Then, it was Olivia's turn with Kakuzu's strong grip on the back of her neck and Hidan's on her arm._

_It took about thirty minutes of yelling and scolding for the accused that was sitting in the kitchen, still soaking wet in nothing but towels, for the matter to be resolved._

* * *

Tobi shook his head, "No matter how many times we told them we didn't do anything sexual, they still didn't believe us." Deidara nodded, "I didn't think Danna would react like that un."

I shook my head, "I knew Hidan and Kakuzu would but it's over now and they're ok with it. Kakuzu did love the fact that we saved a lot of money."

Tobi smirked, "What exactly did Kisame do to you Olivee when Hidan yelled at him?" I made a face, "Before I could get the towel wrapped around me he grabbed my breasts." Deidara chuckled, "That's Kisame for you, but he took a feel of me too you know un."

"Tobi too." "He did and no one noticed?" "I thought it would be better left unsaid. He pinched my behind un." Tobi blushed, "Cock." I rolled my eyes, "He really is a pervert." I got the wicked smirk when something came to mind.

"Tobi knows that look." "I shouldn't tell you two this." Deidara leaned closer, "What un?" "I witness something VERY interesting a long time ago and I got caught." Tobi scooted his chair closer, "What is it Olivee?" I spoke softly.

* * *

_One time, when everyone was one missions, aside from Kisame, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan. I just had come out of my room when two VERY flustered men came out of the bedroom. Fairly obvious to what just took place. I was in shock!_

_Our eyes locked and it was very awkward to say the least, especially when they both trapped me in a corner and towered over me. Kisame smirked evilly, "I wouldn't tell anyone about this if I were you." _

_Kakuzu leaned closer and growled into my ear, "Forget what you saw so you won't suffer if you blab alright?" I slowly nodded and it was left at that. I wasn't going to take a chance with those two._

Deidara and Tobi's mouth were hanging open in utter shock. "Kisame and Kakuzu un?" "Yep." Tobi tap a finger against his chin, "Who was on top?" "No clue." Deidara smirked, "Kakuzu probably was seme un." "I don't know, it could've been Kisame."

Tobi tilted his hands, "Maybe they took turns?" "Possibility but I doubt we'll ever find out." Deidara glanced over at Tobi, "Despite that mystery, I remember when I found out Tobi was NOT a good boy un."

I blushed, "You mean when he used his 'good boy' act to his advantage to make Hidan jealous?" Deidara grinned, "Precisely un."

Tobi smiled sweetly, "Tobi IS a good boy."

**To be continued: XD**


	3. Bad Boy & Night Streak

_Hidan was making fun of Tobi in general….didn't help that Hidan was moody anyway since he hasn't been on a mission for a week. _

_Any-who, the teasing got so bad that Tobi began to cry and latched himself onto Olivia for comfort. "Hidan so mean to Tobi!" She tried to calm him down, stroking his hair as he sniveled onto her chest. Well, Hidan didn't like it._

_He kept glaring at the boy before finally muttering, "Olivia." "What?" "Why are you fucking letting the wuss cry on your breasts? The fucking baby can go cry in his room for once." At this Tobi tilted his head to face Hidan, narrowing his eyes at the jashinist; unseen by his mask._

_She didn't answer except roll her eyes. Tobi then had an idea and Deidara knew only too well. Only the artisan noticed since he's been around the boy the most, aside from Zetsu who wasn't there. _

_Tobi pretty much stopped making any noise all together and saw his shoulders hunch in an angry manner. What was Tobi going to do?_

_He casually rests his left hand on one boob, making sure Hidan was watching before gently sliding up his mask to where only his lips were visible._

_He smirked evilly and shifted himself more comfortably on her breasts, snuggling closer before resting his chin in her cleavage. "WHAT THE FUCK?" "What now?" He pointed at Tobi, "He's taking advantage of her that's fucking what!"_

* * *

_They all looked and Tobi was lying there perfectly still; with his mask back to its normal place. Kakuzu sighed, "I know you get jealous easily Hidan but knock off the accusations." Hidan choked back a complaint before staring at the boy again._

_Tobi had revealed his lips again and softly placed a kiss on her nipple that she didn't even feel. "FUCKING BASTARD!" Deidara found this whole scheme of Tobi's hilarious and he was doing it brilliantly._

_Itachi frowned at him, "Would you please be quiet? I'm trying to read." Hidan shut up again and next thing you know Tobi was at it again, giving small delicate squeezes to the soft pillow he had…and it was driving Hidan mad!_

"_Uh Hidan? Since when is pillow on your diet?" All eyes were on the priest, who was gripping onto a pillow for dear life and biting it. He did look like he was trying to eat it. _

_At this Tobi buried his nose into her cleavage with a whimper. "HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN!" He pointed frantically at him but no noticed anything strange; Tobi had just turned his head to the other side._

_Olivia sighed, "Would you stop accusing Tobi of doing that stuff. He's just cuddling and being a good boy." Hidan snorted, "Good boy my fucking ass!" Tobi lifted his head and muttered, "Hidan just jealous that Olivee lets Tobi cuddle on her but not him." _

_Kisame grinned, "That could be a possibility." "No it's fucking not!" "Yes it is Hidan. Every time I held you, you couldn't keep your hands off me. That's why I won't let you anymore." _

_Hidan stuttered, "B..But…he's doing it on fucking purpose too!" Tobi laughed and hugged his Olivee, with his head on her shoulder, "Tobi's a good boy. Right Olivee?" "Right." From the unseen eye, except for Deidara, Tobi gave Hidan the grin of triumph and mouthed out, "Tobi's boobies."_

* * *

Deidara stopped to crack up laughing, "That still gets me going un!" Tobi nodded, "For a long time Tobi didn't know why his semapi randomly burst out laughing." Olivia smiled, "At least that kept Hidan from going into hurting Tobi since he stopped mid-jump when you laughed."

Deidara munched on a chip nodding, "Tobi was NOT a good boy un." Tobi giggled and changed the subject, "Can Tobi tell a secret he saw?" The other two eyes lit up, "Sure." "Go on un."

Tobi snickered a little and spoke softly.

* * *

_Tobi was sneaking a snack during the middle of the night when he heard footsteps. He quickly hid behind the dining room table since he got in trouble last time for making a mess. This time, he wasn't going to get blamed again. _

_He couldn't see who walked by until the kitchen light came on. Olivee? Next thing he knew, someone else was coming. Sasori stumbled by sleepily, rubbing his eyes when he and Olivia bumped into each other._

_He heard them both hold their breath and quietly peeked over the table. He was shocked! Olivee and Sasori both was stark ass naked, now staring at each other with blushes. Olivee had an Oreo in her mouth and Sasori just cleared his throat._

_Nothing was said. They merely shuffled around each other and walked off like nothing happened._

* * *

Deidara slowly turned and looked at her, "What were you doing naked un?" She blushed like crazy, "Spur of the moment and I didn't think anyone would come in there!" "You didn't notice Tobi missing from his bed un?"

She shook her head and stared at Tobi, "I can't believe you saw that!" Tobi grinned, "Tobi thought it was cute." Deidara scowled, "Why was Danna streaking then un?" "Why don't you ask him."

"Hell no, then he'll ask how I know un." "Too late sempai." "Huh un?" "Hmm?" Tobi laughed nervously and pointed.

"I knew someone else was there that night." "It also looks like I didn't threatened you good enough not to blab….dear."

Sasori and Kakuzu were in the doorway and didn't look too happy.

**To be continued:**


	4. DaDa's Baby & Lovey Dovey Miser

Kakuzu and Sasori plopped into the chairs next to their lovers. Kakuzu whispered in her ear gruffly, "I'll deal with you later." She turned red and scooted her chair closer to Sasori.

The red head smirked, "What brought this 'game' on by chance." His lover shrugged, "We were bored and just came up with it un." "I want to join in also, especially after a certain miser's prowl."

Said man glared menacingly at him until Olivia rubbed his thigh soothingly. "Hmph." "I take it he'll join in on the fun now." "What fun?" Hidan came in, grabbing a beer from the fridge. "We're reminiscing on past events and telling dirty secrets!"

Hidan took a swing smirking as he sat down, "Sounds like my fucking game." "So, who wants to go next?" Sasori tilted his head, "I will. Now, the only reason I'm bringing this up is because I myself am curious about this."

* * *

_Tobi was giving his Olivee her bottle with a happy grin and humming softly. Yes, he gave her the baby drug like a bad boy, but he wanted to coddle and pamper her like one though._

_No one was in at the moment, aside from his sempai who was still in shock that he did that to her. He took the bottle away and she yawned, "Is Tobi's little baby sleepy?" She shook her head no._

"_Olivee sure?" "Mmmhmm." "Ok." He started to rock her when Hidan and Kakuzu came back, just his luck. _

_Kakuzu threw his satchel down angrily, "Not this crap again!" Hidan snatched her away from Tobi growling, "How the fuck did you get the damn drug!" _

_Tobi crossed his arms, "Tobi found one that Sasori missed. Give his baby back to him!" "Fuck no!" _

_Kakuzu shook his head, "I'm surprised you did that to her." SMACK! Hidan just got slapped by a squirming, whimpering, girl and to make matters worse, he accidently dropped her on the floor._

"_HIDAN!" "I didn't fucking mean to!" She curled up into a ball and started crying….and everyone knows what happens if Tobi finds out. _

"_It's ok, shhh, calm down." Hidan gently picked her up but that made it worse. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" She tried to slap him again when Tobi took her away, sitting her on the couch before turning to Hidan. WHACK! _

_He knocked him clear across the room with a powerful punch, not saying a word. Kakuzu raised his eyebrows but didn't intervene, he wasn't a fool. Tobi took a deep breath and went back to his precious little baby, murmuring soft things to her._

* * *

_Hidan groaned and muttered who knows how many curses angrily but didn't bitch at Tobi like he normally would. Safe to say why. Well, unfortunately for Tobi his girl wasn't calming down at all even with him….and that made him even madder at Hidan._

_Tobi left her there and went for Hidan again in silence. The jashinst muttered 'fuck' before backing up into a corner. Kakuzu took this chance to calm her down. He scooped her up on his lap and did the usual to her when she was really out of hand to cooperate….or was mad at him. _

_In the corner, no punches were made but Tobi told Hidan off and left the priest unable to make a comeback. When he thought of one they both noticed she stopped crying. _

_They turned to see her on Kakuzu's lap, with him whispering something in her ear. She rested her head on his shoulder and cuddled closer. _

_Their mouths dropped and he chuckled, "Works every time." "What the fuck did you do?" "Nothing." Tobi sat next to him in amusement, "Kakuzu did too! How'd you do that?" _

_Hidan plopped into a chair, forgetting about the Tobi drama, "This isn't the first time you fucking done this old man. Every time she gets mad at you, I see you hold and sit her on your fucking lap and whisper something! What the fuck do you tell her?"_

_Kakuzu just smirked, "That's for me to know and you NOT to find out." "No fair. Tobi want to know." "DaDa?" All eyes turned to see her pouting, "Olivee want DaDa." Hearing that Tobi took her away from the miser, holding her like the baby he wanted her to be._

_The zombie pair just watched as Tobi carried her away murmuring, "Tobi loves his little baby~"_

* * *

Tobi's face turned red when the puppet narrowed his eyes at him. "How did you get that packet? I ensured that every bit was disposed of." Tobi pouted, "He followed Sasori and took it before he noticed and how did Sasori know about that."

"Deidara told me by accident but that's not relevant at the moment. Do you have any more of them?" Tobi shook his head. "You're lying, how many do you have?" Tobi didn't answer except go get a beer. "Answer me boy!" He said in a manner of fact tone, "Not telling."

Hidan crushed the can of beer when he was through, "I still want to fucking know old man!" Random much. She cocked her head to the side, "What are you talking about?" "What does he fucking say to you to calm you down!"

Deidara agreed, "I would like to know too un." Kakuzu shrugged, "Not happening."

She smirked; if they only knew what he says to her they would simply die. They would NEVER catch him say those things aloud….EVER!

* * *

"_Let me go, I know what you're going to do!" He held her more firmly on his lap and worked his magic, drawing her in with his manly deep voice. "What's the matter with Kuzu's little baby?" She weakly tried to push him away again muttering, "You know why, now stop it!"_

"_But Kuzu wants to make it all better. He doesn't want his baby mad at him." She pouted and ceased the struggling, "But I am." He gave her a few soft kisses to the neck and whispered even more gently, "Don't be baby….pwease?" _

_She rested her head on his shoulder, "Damn you." "Does Kuzu's precious angel forgive him then?" She kissed his cheek and whined, "Yeah, but I hate it when you do that!" He smirked and held her closer, "You love it."_

* * *

Just thinking about it is getting her aroused. "Let's change the subject please." Kakuzu got a wicked gleam in his eyes, "I have a story to tell that will put the others to shame." "You old man?"

"What about un?" "It happened a good ways back, when it was just the three of us together." Olivia's eyes went wide and got a bad feeling. The miser glanced at her with an evil grin, "It's concerning what Olivia did to Hidan one afternoon, _before_ we were lovers."

Everyone turned to her, including Hidan, with confused expressions. Her face turned red, "Uh, this isn't about the time when…..you caught me….um….coming out of his room would it?" "It is." "DON'T TELL THEM THAT!"

**To be continued: XD (it's going to be funny as hell)**


	5. Busted with Strap On!

Kakuzu just smirked at his little lover's outburst, "Call this payback for revealing something you wasn't supposed to." She bit her lip and grabbed a beer also, "Bastard." Deidara grinned, "This must be a doozy un."

Kakuzu nodded, "Trust me it is."

* * *

_He came in a day early from a bounty hunt. His target was too easy to find and capture so the miser collected his reward and came home. What he didn't expect was to see Olivia sneaking down the hallway. _What is she up to?

_He followed her unseen/heard to see her plundering under Hidan's bed looking for something. "Where is it?" He leaned against the wall and kept eyeing her exploit. "I knew it!" She pulled out a matching blue bra and thong set growling, "I wish he'd stop taking my clothes the pervert." _

_Kakuzu choked back a laugh, even he didn't know Hidan was raiding her drawers. His lover was a pervert alright. Well, she started putting stuff back when a particular box caught her eye. "What the…" _

_The words 'new toy to break pitiful roommate' was scribbled on the lid. "Pitiful roommate?" Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened it. Her jaw dropped at what she saw. It was a strap-on dildo, obviously for a woman._

_She hastily put the box back where it was and just sat there in shock; Kakuzu smirked. _I wonder what's going through her mind right now? _It wasn't long before she got up with her stuff heading back out with Kakuzu already gone from the scene._

_Later that evening, Hidan was taking a nap and he was still in his room going through the bounty list and money when he heard her come out of her room. He could tell she was trying to be quiet and was curious._

_After making sure she wasn't near his door, he crept behind her as she went into Hidan's room. _What is she doing? _He stood outside the door, which was cracked wide enough for him to see in, and smirked._

_Hidan was out like a light on his stomach and Olivia was handcuffing him to the bed. _Interesting and with Hidan's handcuffs no less. _The priest never woke up, must have taken a sleeping pill again._

* * *

_He choked back a laugh when she pulled back the sheet and saw him in the nude; ogling him naturally like anyone would do._

_His lover liked to do that. Next thing he knew, she was taking off her clothes and putting on the strap-on with a blush. _She isn't? _A wide grin spread under his mask, he's going to get a show. She inserted one end inside her before hooking it._

_She sucked on her fingers, lifting Hidan's hips up before inserting one. The priest moaned as the digit probed him, along with the two others that were shortly added. "Mmmmm, Kuzuuuuuu not now. I wanna fucking sleep."_

_Olivia never said a word except smirk and probe/stretch him harder. Hidan shifted a bit before shuddering when she hit his sweet spot. "F….F..Fuck." Kakuzu was indeed enjoying the show, so much he took his member out._

_She withdrew her fingers and positioned herself with Hidan wriggling his ass, "Kuzu~ fuck me you bastard." He was surprised that she pretty much slammed into that welcoming ass, already thrusting at a hard pace._

_Kakuzu bit his lip and stroked faster; already thinking of having a threesome…..both of them so young and sexy….it would be bliss. Hidan's moaning wasn't helping, who still hadn't waken up probably due to thinking this was a dream. _

_Another good fifteen minutes of this she gasped and tensed, no doubt having reached her orgasm. The sound of that small cute gasp and Hidan groaning, "Gonna…..cummmmmm!," made the miser release instantly. _

_He growled under his breath and quickly cleaned up the evidence when she started heading out the door after cleaning and putting the toy/handcuffs back. She bumped into him when she came out, still in the nude, and gapped up at him with a blood red face. _

"_You're a naughty girl Olivia." She whimpered nervously before rushing by and darting into the bathroom. _Cute.

* * *

Hidan's mouth dropped, along with the others. "Why didn't you fucking tell me she did that to me?" Kakuzu smirked, "You were dead to the world thinking it was me. Plus, I used that to my advantage later."

She pouted, "Yeah, you blackmailed me!" Hidan smirked, "That explains how you kept getting her to fucking wait on you hand and foot."

He turned to her with a sexy smile, "You're not getting out playing with that toy this time babe." Tobi rubbed her leg under the table, "Tobi want to play too."

Sasori leaned closer purring, "That proves you're a bad girl." Deidara nodded, "What possessed you to do that to Hidan anyway un?"

She grabbed another beer, "Leave me alone! I was horny, got ideas when I saw that toy, and knew Hidan wouldn't wake up since he took a pill. I wasn't expecting Kakuzu to be home and watch none the less!"

"Did that really happen?" They all turned to see Kisame, Itachi, and Zetsu coming in then sitting down. **"Dirty girl." **Kisame grinned, "I didn't think you of all people were that much of a pervert." She glared, "Will someone change the subject please?"

"I saw an interesting scene that happened between Sasori, Deidara, and Olivia." All eyes were on Itachi now.

* * *

_He was headed to his room to rest when he heard Sasori scolding someone in his room. The door wasn't shut properly so he peeked in. _

_A cowering Deidara and Olivia were huddled in a corner with a furious Sasori glaring daggers at them._

"_I have the perfect punishment for you two." "B..But Danna it was just a joke un." "Calm down Sasori, we're sorry." Sasori frowned, "Joke my ass and apologizing isn't going to repair my new puppet!" _

_Itachi knitted his eyebrows; _they destroyed a puppet? _"We didn't mean to!" Sasori attached his chakra threads to them and lifted them into the air with a sick grin, "We're going to have a marionette show." _

**To be continued: Mwhahahaha!**


	6. Puppet & Chocolate Show

_Sasori sat down Indian-style on his bed and growled, "Now listen to me closely since I will not be repeating this. You will follow my instructions accordingly without fail until I think your punishment is over understood?"_

_Deidara grimly nodded but Olivia asked, "What if we don't?" The blonde whipped his head at her with a glare….translation….you just made it worse fool!_

_To prove that point, Sasori grinned….a sick grin mind you….brought out two syringes and made them hover behind his 'present' puppets necks. _

"_I'm glad you asked Olivia. If I get any lip or disobedience this poisoned filled syringe will be injected into your system. Not enough to kill but to immobilize and make the body feel like it's on fire. Anymore questions?"_

"_No sir." "No Danna." "Good, now let's begin." He made them strip down to nothing but soon came the outfits. She was in a French maid outfit and the blonde only wearing his akatsuki cloak; bringing out sheets of paper to read from._

_Itachi went wide eyed at this; a play? "Try to read the script fluently and get into character since I'm recording this. Remember, no lip. You start brat."_

* * *

_Deidara gulped and read, "I thought I told you to make my bed…." He trailed off and glanced at Sasori. One menacing glare was all it took for him to finish, trying to sound angry, "I thought I told you to make my bed bitch un!" _

_As the blonde spoke the puppet master was giving him the body language for the scene, lashing his hands out and stomping his foot. Now it was her turn. She whimpered, "But I did sir, please don't be cross with me."_

"_You can't even do a simple thing like that right! Why the fuck did I hire you in the first place you worthless cunt un!" SLAP! Deidara gapped since he was forced to slap her across the face, instantly making her cry. "Not a word you two or this will get worse." _

_The blonde bit his lip as she sniveled, trying to read her part, "I…I'm so s..sorry sir. Please give me another chance." Deidara crossed his arms, "Well, I guess it can't be helped you're this pitiful un. I'll give you another chance on one condition un."_

"_W..What's that sir?" He pulled her by the waist until it met his, "You have to kiss me un." She pouted, "W..What?" "You heard me, now do it. It better be good too un." _

_Sasori smirked at this, he didn't force her since he knew she would gain some comfort from it. She gently molded her lips onto Deidara's, who was being just as passionate, trying to make up for the uncontrolled slap._

_After it seemed the tension was calmed down he broke them apart and continued, "See that wasn't so bad was it un?" "No sir." A hand squeezed her breast and the other slides up under her skirt, "N..No! What are you doing? Stop!" _

"_Shut up and strip un." "No!" She kneed him in the crotch thus making the blonde groan and clutching his jewels. Itachi couldn't believe this little performance he was seeing. Sasori was getting his revenge by making them hurt each other._

_She frowned when that happened and pitifully looked at the red head. He remained expressionless and once the blow to his brat eased off made him grab her, roughly pushing her to her knees._

"_Y..You're going to regret that you pathetic piece of…shit un." He unzipped his pants and pulled out his sore flaccid member. He fisted her hair and pushed it to her lips. She tenderly suckled on it as gently as she could to make amends._

* * *

"It just kept going until Deidara supposedly raped Olivia and left her a broken woman on the bed." The others just sat there disturbed, mostly because of the horrific script. Sasori tried to ignore the angry stares from Tobi, "Sasori made his Olivee cry."

Olivia quickly held his hand and gently kept him from standing up, "It's ok Tobi, Deidara made it all better and I did for him too." Deidara took his other hand nervously, "Calm down. All's been forgiven now un."

Much to everyone's relief, mostly Sasori, Tobi relaxed and was chipper again. Zetsu smirked, "You three have always been so caring for one another. It's rather touching." Kisame nodded, "True, but I can't help but wonder what naughty things they've done to each other without us knowing."

"Show's what you know un?" **"How quickly we forget the chocolate incident." **Tobi gasped, "But that was Itachi's doing!" Olivia nodded, "He did start it."

Kisame glanced at his lover, "Now this I got to hear." Zetsu began.

* * *

_Zetsu was smelling that chocolate cake Tobi and Olivia were making and it was heavenly. Those two sure could bake…and cook. Sadly, he was banned from the kitchen as was everyone else because they got in the way._

_He just couldn't help himself and used his Mayfly technique to see what the progress was. He only has his eyes visible on the ceiling to watch. Yep, they were almost through and licking the bowl._

"_Mmm, this tastes good Olivee." "Can't beat milk chocolate." Tobi sucked what was left on his finger and got some more. "What are you two baking?" Itachi waltzed in eyeing the chocolate hungrily. _

"_Tobi and Olivee baked a chocolate cake. Want some?" "Don't mind if I do." He dipped his finger in and left it in his mouth for quite a bit, as if savoring the rich taste. Tobi grinned, "Is it that good Itachi." "Yes."_

_Olivia smirked and dabbed a bit on Tobi's cheek. "Olivee!" He laughed and did it to her too. Tobi was about to wipe his off but Itachi stopped him, "Allow me." He leaned in and darted his tongue out, licking the tasty morsel off his cheek._

* * *

_Tobi blushed and Olivia murmured, "Would you do mine please?" A small seductive smirk spread across the raven's lips, "With pleasure." He did the same thing and poor Zetsu was sweating bullets. _

_Tobi got some more and put some on Itachi this time. "Whoops, how silly of Tobi. Let him clean Itachi up." Instead of licking, he suckled the smooth cheek, pulling back with a small pop. Itachi kept smirking and dipped his finger back in the bowl._

_Olivia stopped him from getting Tobi again and brought his finger to her lips; playfully running her tongue along the tip before sucking on the entire finger. Tobi grunted in delight and Itachi made a low humming noise._

"_What are you three doing un?" Tobi dipped his finger back in the bowl purring, "Eating chocolate sempai. Want to join in." Deidara scowled but it soon changed to a lustful expression when Itachi sucked the sweet on Tobi's finger. _

_He shuffled over and was instantly spotted with the chocolate. He now had three places on him with it; his lips, finger, and neck. Itachi locked lips with the blonde, Olivia suckling on his neck and Tobi on the finger. _

_Zetsu quickly covered his nosebleed and tried to hold in a growl. It was just so sexy. He quickly left and entered through the doorway, hoping to get in on the action. He choked back a gasp when they were all on her now. _

_The same situation Deidara was in but he had her finger, Itachi on the neck, and Tobi the lips. __**"My turn." **__They blushed as Zetsu made his way over to get chocolatefide._

* * *

Zetsu trailed off with a flushed expression and a deep sigh. "Uh Zetsu? You're drooling." Tobi giggled and wiped the corner of his lover's mouth, "Zetsu loved it."

Hidan grabbed another beer, "Why couldn't I have fucking been there?" The rest agreed. "I wouldn't have minded experiencing that myself."

They all whipped around to see Madara leaning against the doorway grinning from ear to ear. "Mind if I join in?"

**To be continued: XD**


	7. Blackmail & Cookin

Kisame snarled, "Yes, as a matter of fact we DO mind!" Zetsu frowned, "You lot are never going to get along if this keeps up." Hidan snorted, "Fucking fine with me." "Ditto."

Madara smirked, "Is that so? Well, in that case I would like to have a word with Olivia in private."

Kakuzu glared, "Over my dead body." Madara returned the gesture, "That can be arranged." Before any more threats were said Olivia got up and went to him. Hidan hastily grabbed her wrist, "Don't you fucking dare go with him."

She rolled her eyes, "He just wants to have a word with me what's the big deal?" Itachi pursed his lips, "You have an hour?"

She sighed, "Point taken Itachi but Zetsu's right. We ALL need to learn to get along so stop being jackasses every time he shows up!"

Madara motioned for her to go ahead, "After you." Before she did she replied sarcastically, "If anyone does hear me scream feel free to come and check."

Once they were alone she asked, "So, what's up?" Madara smirked, "I want to join in and you are my ticket to do that." "How so?" "If you can't persuade them to do that and stop insulting me then I'll show them this."

He pulled out a photograph and held it up.

* * *

She blushed and scowled, "Where in hell did you get that?" It was a picture of her and Tobi asleep on the bed with his mouth attached to her exposed breast. She remembered now, that was from Christmas Eve when Zetsu loaned her to Tobi so he could play with her breasts.

"That bastard took a picture?" Madara grinned, "What do you say?" Olivia shrugged, "It's actually not that big of a deal, they know about it though I doubt they saw this photo."

That grin just got wider, "No matter. I also have these and I highly doubt you'll want this shown." He pulled out a few more and her jaw dropped. She wouldn't believe it if she didn't see it with her own eyes. No way in hell could she let them see this!

She was giving Madara head, apparently on her own free will, and enjoying it. "When did this happen? I..I didn't…" "Yes you did. You were a vampire at the time but you'd never know in these photos."

She pursed her lips, "Why are you blackmailing me?" "To get what I want and you're the only one aside from Zetsu that'll stand up for me. Also, I want a steamy kiss too; with tongue of course."

"No." He shrugged, "Alright, have it your way. I'm sure they would love to see your betrayal."

She pulled him back whispering, "Fine you win!" "Good, now where's my kiss?" "Later, right now isn't a good time."

He pouted slightly, "True but you do realize that…" He pulled her closer and purred, "The more I'm teased now the more pleasure to be gained later."

She shuddered and pushed him towards the kitchen scowling. "Olivee?" She made him sit next to her and grabbed a beer, "He's playing so not a word against him." "But…" "NOT a word Hidan! That goes for the rest of you too."

She sure was angry at the moment. Zetsu glanced at him curiously, **"What did you do?" **Madara smirked, "Persuasion." No one seemed too happy with the idea but it was better to just go along with it. Of course, now everyone began drinking.

"Since no one has anything to say at the moment I have some dirt on Zetsu." Said man scowled, **"This better NOT be what I think it is." **The long haired raven grinned, "It is."

Olivia smirked a little, "We're all ears Madara." "Alright."

* * *

_He just got out of the shower with only a towel wrapped his waist when he heard a growl coming from the kitchen. Yes, a growl is what he heard._

_He peeked around the corner and smirked. "Mmmm~" Zetsu latched on the other's neck and gripped the small hips tightly. _

"Guess who was riding my flustered friend." She nudged him, "Keep going its getting good."

_Madara enjoyed this scene tremendously and fought back a boner. It was so perfect. The usual inexpressive red head was just bouncing away on Zetsu's member, both of them growling in content._

Zetsu smirked a little and did turn red but not near as much as Sasori. Deidara gapped at him chuckling, "You and Zetsu un?" "Shut up brat." Kisame grinned, "This isn't the first time that happened." "Danna un?"

"It's ok sempai, Kisame told Tobi all about it. It happened when we were all vampires." "Oh, in that case I want to see the video un." Sasori shook his head, "No can do." "Why un?"

Kakuzu clarified, "He had to turn the cameras off when he fell prey to Hidan." Deidara sighed, "Damn un." Olivia nodded, "Would've been nice to see all that porn."

"**By the way, I've been meaning to ask you this Olivia."** "What is it?" "What was this deal on a cooking contest?" She paled and muttered, "They set me up." Madara grabbed another beer, "Do tell."

* * *

_Itachi, Deidara, and Tobi were having this big argument on who could cook the best chili. "Let's face it Deidara, you can't cook it as well as I can." _

"_Oh yeah? If I do recall your lover complimented on mine saying it was the best he'd ever tasted. Yours wasn't even mentioned Uchiha un."_

_Tobi snorted, "Please, Kisame is like Hidan. He'll eat anything and compliment on it no matter who cooked it." "Mine is the best." "No mine is un!" "Tobi's surpasses both of yours combined!" _

_They all glared at each other until Tobi had an idea. "Let's have contest. We'll all cook the chili and have someone to be the judge." Deidara and Itachi mulled it over. "Not a bad idea un." "I agree but who will judge it."_

_Tobi chuckled, "NOT Hidan. Last time he stunk up the entire living room." Deidara smirked, "So true plus he won't be honest either un." "We need someone who will be sincere and can't lie very well." _

_Tobi grinned, "Just so we can tell if they're lying right?" "Yes." "Then it has to be Olivia un." Itachi nodded, "She can't keep a straight face when being pressured." "Olivee is perfect choice. Tobi go tell her."_

_Deidara pulled him back, "No wait until after we cook the food or she'll go and hide." Itachi chuckled, "She would." Tobi nods. _

_An hour later after preparing, cooking, and throwing/locking Hidan outside since he sneaked a few bowlfuls; it was time._

_Tobi brought her and sat her at the table in front of three bowls of chili that were labled A,B, and C. "Uh, what's going on?" "We're having a contest on who makes the best chili un." Itachi crossed his arms, "You have the honors on deciding who's the best is."_

* * *

_With that said she paled and tried to leave but Tobi held her down. "Olivee going to judge. Now be a good girl and taste. Tobi knows she'll pick his." _

_She gulped with a whimper, "Do I have to?" "Yes and it'd better be mine you pick un." She stared at the bowls, "I'm not going to get punished am I?" "Not unless you pick the right one." _

_Yes, she did NOT want to do this. Her lip was trembling as these three men were watching her intently with crossed arms, waiting for her answer._

"_I'm going to regret this." She tasted the A bowl, then B, then C. She waited a few seconds before doing it again to make sure and then sighed, "Ok, but just for the record all three are delicious." _

"_Well un?" "So Olivee?" "Go on." She took a deep breath and pointed, "Bowl B." Itachi grinned in triumph and picked up the bowl, "As I thought. Now if you two…ahem… losers will excuse me. I want to feed my prize chili to my lover." _

_Itachi left to go find Kisame and Olivia was slowing sliding down her seat. Tobi and Deidara were scowling at her without a word. She took that cue to get up and attempt to leave._

"_Olivee come back here." "You're not getting out of this so easily un." She broke off running with them right on her heels yelling, "KAKUZU!" _

_She threw herself on his door but it was locked. Tobi grabbed her around the waist and covered her mouth with Deidara taking hold of her legs as they carried her into the bedroom._

_Tobi bent her over his lap while Deidara grabbed the paddle. "How could you have chosen his over Tobi's?" "Now he's going to rub it in from now on un." _

_Shaking her head no whimpering the blonde withdrew the paddle and brought it down, only to be stopped midway. Kakuzu had grabbed the opposing end with a growl, "What's going on?"_

_She muffled out something but Tobi pressed more firmly. "Let her speak Tobi." He reluctantly withdrew his hand and she sighed. "They were having a cooking contest and made me the judge since I'm the most honest but when I chose Itachi's as the winner they….well they were sore losers about it."_

_Kakuzu glared and snarled at them, "You two are so damn childish! Release her Tobi before I make you!" He did and she ran to her lover, hiding in his arms. "If you ever try to punish her for something like this again, I'll show you how what happens to snot nosed brats!"_

* * *

Zetsu tsked, "I'm ashamed of you Tobi. How could you even consider it?" Tobi hung his head, "He was mad and he's sorry. He made up for it." Deidara muttered, "I did too un." He glanced at Itachi, "Not a word from you either un."

Itachi held his hands up as surrender with a smirk. Madara asked, "So, what happened to Hidan?" Hidan slurred out, "They f..flucking left me ous there for firty fuffing minutes!" Kakuzu took the can away from him, "No more beer for you."

Olivia and Kisame were getting there but could still talk normal. "OH! Tobi got a funny story about sempai and…..!"

"So purty. Almosh shexy like mine." Hidan started playing with Kisame's hair with a drunken grin, "That's a new one coming from him." Tobi giggled, "Hidan so drunk."

Madara tossed an empty can at him, "What did the blonde do?" Tobi smirked evilly and Deidara sweat dropped. "Tobi caught sempai with a woman…..and it wasn't Olivee."

"WHAT!"

**To be continued: These cliffhangers are killing you readers I know XD**

***By the way, if no one knows what picture they're talking about with Tobi and Olivia at Xmas. It's on chapter 2 of my Akatsuki Xmas story*  
**


	8. Guest & Nightmare

Sasori lunged at the blonde but Deidara hastily moved out of the way and ended up on Tobi. "Danna it's not what you think un!" "Sasori calm down." Kisame jerked him back down into his seat.

The red head was about to tell him off when Tobi fisted the table. "Let Tobi tell the story or die!" That shut them all up.

Tobi cleared his throat and shifted his sempai to a more comfortable position on his lap. "That's better."

* * *

_He was bored and wanted to see if his sempai had any ideas what he could do to pass the time. Well, he had no clue where his sempai was and checked the last place he could think of. _

_He headed towards the lake since Deidara sometimes goes out there to use his art without disturbing anyone. Tobi stopped dead in his tracks when he heard giggling and some slight moaning. "Sempai?"_

_The murmuring kept going so Tobi followed until he found who was causing it. He couldn't see because of the tall hedges so he leaped up upon a tree branch that was over the spot. He blushed with a whisper at what he saw, "Oh my."_

_Deidara was having sex with Olivee's friend Miko. They were just going at it like no tomorrow on a blanket trying to keep their voices down and failing miserably. Tobi sat down to watch more with a smug grin._

_The blonde gripped her hips tighter, "Damn Miko un." "Don't stop Dei, more!" "Oh I'll give you more un." He shifted their positions to where she was lying on her side and held her leg on his shoulder as he thrusted inside._

"_AHH!" He bit his lip and muttered, "You call that being quiet un?" She smirked, "I'm sorry but it felt so goooood~" _

_Tobi's eyes fluttered a little thinking aloud, "Tobi needs to try that position with Olivee and hopes she'll squeal like that for him." He giggled softly to himself at the lovely thought._

"_Did you hear something un?" "I think so." Tobi covered his mouth but his sempai looked straight up. "WHAT THE HELL TOBI UN!" Tobi laughs, "Hi Miko!" She blushed but grinned, "Hi Tobi." _

"_YOU'RE DEAD UN!" Tobi frantically waved his arms, "WAIT SEMPAI! DON'T….AGGGHHHHH!" Deidara threw a new piece of art at him and sent him hurling into the sky._

* * *

Zetsu laughed, **"That explains why I had to patch you up with the excuse you pissed him off again." **"He did tell the truth though." Sasori relaxed a little before slapping Tobi's arm, "Idiot!" "What did Tobi do?"

"Before shooting off your mouth that my brat slept with another woman you should have mentioned it was Miko to begin with!" Kakuzu nodded, "I agree. Another second later and Deidara would've been punished for being unfaithful."

Madara laughed. "What's so funny un?" He smirked, "This talk about being unfaithful. You all wind up sleeping together so how's that being faithful?"

Tobi pouted, "It's only on special occasions when that happens Madara." "Really?" "Yeah, the first time it happened was because of the bet between Olivee and Deidara." Itachi smirked, "The recent vampire fiasco."

Hidan muttered, "Jashinmas." "Hidan get off me." They chuckled to see the jashinist straddling Kisame's lap and drooling on his shoulder. "How sweet un." "Shut up." Sasori grinned, "The gender switch."

Zetsu laughed at that, **"Now that was a good time." **"But let's not forget that mystery drink incident." She rolled her eyes, "That and the baby drug week." Kakuzu nodded, "Olivia's birthday."

"And her PMS time." Madara choked on his drink, "Come again?" She made a face, "Don't ask. That was all Zetsu." He glanced at his friend with a smirk, "Blood fetish eh?" **"I'm not ashamed of it and she liked it." **

He turned to her and she avoided eye contact, "Drop it." Sasori to the rescue, "Brat?" "Yes un?" "Are you finished with your present location?" Deidara furrowed his brows before muttering, "Oh un."

He slid off Tobi's lap back into his chair. "By the way sempai, why was Miko over anyway?" The blonde smirked, "I invited her obviously un." "How's that brat?" Deidara scoffed, "I got her cell number when she last visited and so does Itachi un."

Kisame grinned at his lover, "Really?" Itachi blushed a little, "Just for small talk." "Yef, shmall talk in the sheeps!" "Kisame I think you need to put him to bed." He scowled, "Why me?"

Kakuzu crushed his can, "He's all over you so why not?" To prove that point Hidan pressed up closer on the shark man and started sucking on his neck. "Well, someone's horny." Itachi chuckled, "Go on Kisame. Have a whirl."

Olivia grinned, "He won't last long if Hidan keeps that up." "You just wait Olivia, just wait." She blushed and finished her can off. Deidara took this chance to start, "Remember when Hidan scared the hell out of us that one night un?"

Tobi dropped his can but luckily it was empty, "Hidan gave Tobi a heart attack." She rested her chin on her hand, "Yes he did." Deidara stared intently at her, "Tipsy are we un?" She smiled and shook her head no.

"Anyway, you all have to hear this un."

* * *

_Hidan and Kakuzu had a huge fight and the miser kicked him out of the room. Well, he had nowhere to sleep now and refused to sleep on the couch. Deidara watched Hidan mutter to himself before going into Olivia's room._

_In no time at all Hidan was at the blonde's door. "What Hidan un?" The priest was sulking, "Can I fucking sleep with you?" "Weren't you just in Olivia's room un?" He pouted, "She kicked me out too." _

_Deidara rolled his eyes, "You couldn't keep your hands off her I take it un?" "Yeah but you haven't answered my fucking question." _

_The artisan glanced in his room before murmuring, "Fine, but only if you're quiet and don't wake Danna un. You know firsthand how he gets when he's woken up for no good reason un." _

_Hidan smirked, "How was I supposed to know he didn't like shaving cream on his face?" "Who does idiot now get in here and be quiet un!" "Fine!"_

_*Somewhere around three in the morning the worst happened. _

"_AGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Hidan yelled a blood curdling scream that would've waken the dead._

_Deidara probably jumped over a foot off the bed before falling onto the floor._

_Sasori was already in a fighting stance with a puppet breathing heavily. "BLONDIE! BLONDIE WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" Said man snapped, "Right here moron un!" _

_Hidan snatched him up and shook him, "It was fucking awful!" "What un?" "The dream." Sasori lowered his artwork, "I was woken up from a ridiculous nightmare you had?"_

"_Fuck off puppet! It was the fucking worst!" Deidara pried the strong hands off him and muttered, "Calm down and tell us what happened so we can go back to sleep un." _

_Hidan sat back and wiped the sweat from his forehead, "Ok, here's how it went. It started out great, the best fucking thing ever. Olivia was about to have mine/Jashin sama's baby."_

_Deidara smirked, "So far so good un." "Well, I'm a fucking nervous wreck in the waiting room. Like the fuck I would be, that should've told me it was a dream." Sasori hugged his pillow, "Get on with it!" _

"_Hold your fucking puppets I'm getting there! Then the doctor came out and told me I was a father of a boy. I wanted a fucking boy anyway." Deidara hugged his knees, "And un?" _

"_I fucking rushed in there to see her glowing and looking happy as hell wanting me to see my son so I did." Hidan grew silent and paled slightly. Sasori threw the pillow at him, "Well what happened?"_

* * *

_Those amethyst eyes grew wide, "It wasn't my baby!" "Now how do you know that un?" "Let me fucking finish damn it!" He was growing angry, gripping his slacks growling, "It was fucking Tobi's son NOT MINE! HE FUCKING KNOCKED UP MY WOMAN!"_

_Deidara frowned, "Wow un." "That's disturbing." "To make it fucking worse, there was that same dumb orange mask on the thing!" Sasori grinned, "You know that wouldn't happen in real life Hidan."_

"_That's NOT the fucking point! Tobi knocked her up without me knowing, it was all in his fucking head. He was planning the whole thing!" _

_He jumped up and ran out the room with Deidara chasing him, "Hidan wait un!" He barged in and grabbed Tobi by the scruff of his shirt shaking him furiously, "Don't you ever fucking touch her again you childish prick!" _

_Tobi was a deer in a headlight, having no clue what was going on. "What Hidan talking about?" Hidan shoved him on the floor and straddled him, "Don't fucking play innocent with me. I know what you're fucking up to?"_

"_Huh?" "Hidan? What are you doing to Tobi?" Olivia was already sitting up in the bed when Deidara tried to pull the priest off Tobi, "Let him go Hidan un." "Not until I neuter him so he'll never get the chance to do that to her!"_

"_W…What Hidan talking about. Tobi didn't do anything bad!" "You fucking knocked her up!" Olivia gapped, "I'm not pregnant! Leave Tobi alone Hidan." _

_Hidan actually lets him go and points a finger at her, "You're too fucking soft on him and he used that to his clever little scheme to get you fucked up no doubt!" "Uh-oh." "Fucking right uh-oh!" _

"_Not that!" She pointed behind him and he turned. He sweatdropped when three furious men were glaring at him from the doorway. _

_Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu were NOT happy being woken up at this hour._

* * *

Tobi shook his head, "Tobi kind of felt sorry for Hidan after that. They fixed him good." Sasori smirked, "I fell back asleep so I missed it unfortunately." Deidara chuckled, "No one got sleep that night un."

"I wansh your fishshitck." Hidan was on the floor now trying to undo Kisame's pants but the shark wasn't letting him. "Did he say fishstick?" "Shut up Kakuzu."

"Madara?" Said man glanced over, "What?" **"Put her to bed will you."** She was leaning against him and giggling about the fishstick comment. "Olivee had too much to drink alright."

The long haired raven held her up as she stumbled along with him out the door. "You better be back here in five seconds!"

Madara just rolled his eyes and kept walking. Maybe now he'll get that kiss with a little extra as well.

**To be continued: XD**


	9. Temptation & Worst Incident Ever

She yawned as they entered her room and he murmured into her ear. "So, do I get my kiss now?" "Agghh fine." She wrapped her arms around his neck and lip-locked him without a care.

Yep, Olivia had too much to drink to be this willing. Madara however didn't care and took part in the searing kiss, chuckling softly went she went weak in the knees still clinging to him.

Leading her onto the bed, he nibbled on her lower lip to gain access into her mouth; his tongue sliding in with ease and causing her to softly moan. Madara couldn't restrain himself and let his hands wander up her shirt to fondle the soft breasts.

She whimpered when he tweaked the nipples, pulling them slightly before repeating the notion. His fun was short-lived however when he heard someone coming. He growled with frustration and covered her with only the sheet. "One of these days….."

He casually walks past his former host after giving him a curt nod, "Tobi." "Madara." Nothing else was said so Tobi peeked in to see his Olivee fast asleep. "But I'm notsch fuffing pired!"

Hidan was weakly struggling on Kisame's shoulder and trying to escape. "Kisame having trouble?" Said man nodded, "He won't shut up like usual."

"Mine!" Hidan grabbed Madara's behind, who choked back a laugh as Kisame took him into his bedroom and tossed him on the bed trying not to laugh, "I'm going to give you hell when you wake up."

Before Hidan could grab him he left, even though he was very tempted to stay for obvious reasons. He joined the others and just sat down when Itachi asked, "Kakuzu?" "Yes."

"What's the worst thing Olivia has ever done to you?" "Why kind of inquiry is that?" "It's a normal question." **"He does have a point. Lover's don't get along all the time you know." **

Kakuzu stated, "The worst thing she's done affected not only me, but Hidan as well."

"That was a quick response un." Tobi leaned in, "Was it that bad?" He snorted, "She went on a sex strike!"

Madara gapped, "No she didn't?" "Yes she did." Sasori nodded, "I remember that." Itachi smirked, "I should've known that was it."

"Tobi thought it was funny." Kisame grinned, "I did too."

* * *

_She was sore, tired, and not happy to say the least. She hasn't been enjoying having sex with her lovers at all. They were being too rough for starters, not getting her fully prepared, and didn't take no for an answer._

_Olivia went to Deidara for advice on what to do. "I don't know Dei; they've just been so damn aggressive with me lately. I try to tell them to stop because they've been short on the foreplay and it hurts."_

_She sniffed, "They won't listen to me. Do they not love me anymore?" Deidara held her hand and wiped the tears away, "No don't think like that. They love you to no end but you do need to nip this in the bud. I've went through this once before with Danna un." _

"_You have?" Deidara frowned, "Yeah, he once did the same thing way back and was hurting me. I wasn't enjoying myself at all but he didn't seem to care un." She sniffed, "What did you do?" _

"_Well, I went on a sex strike that's what and it killed him. Every time he tried to even touch me I hit him or threw a bomb to keep him away since I was that mad at him un." "Did it work?" _

"_Oh it worked alright and made him come to his senses. He forgot what was important when it came to having sex or making love. I think seme's go through this phase once in a while, along with uke's un." _

_Olivia smirked, "I thought about cutting off the sex but it won't work. They can easily over power me." "Then call for help, let everyone know what's going on and they'll stick by you. They did for me un." _

"_Ok, thanks Dei."_

_That afternoon she announced what was going on to the others. "What the fuck is going on?" Hidan and Kakuzu came in to see a meeting going on. "You two are cut off." They stared at her, "From what?" _

_She simply said, "Sex." Hidan laughed, "I don't fucking believe that. You won't stop having sex with us." "Watch me." Kakuzu went wide eyed, "You're serious?" Hidan snorted, "Why babe?"_

"_You two have been fucking hurting me without giving a shit if I'm enjoying myself and I have had it! No more sex until I say so!" She stomped off leaving them in doubt. _

"_I still don't fucking believe her." "You know that tone idiot. She's serious." "We'll see about that."_

* * *

_For the next two weeks, Hidan and even Kakuzu occasionally tried to have sex with her but failed. Sure enough Deidara was right, the others helped her when she needed it but other than that she was doing quite well on her own. _

_Kakuzu was getting more upset since it was now the third week of the strike and she seemed more pissed off than ever. He couldn't even get her to kiss him let alone sit next to him. His usual method to calm her down wasn't working….and it ALWAYS worked!_

_Hidan was freaking out at this point as well but for different reasons. He thought she didn't want or even love them anymore and found someone else. _

_Kakuzu sulked on the couch talking to Sasori, "Damn it. What do I do?" The red head tried to calm him down, "Just respect her wishes Kakuzu. I almost lost my brat because of this exact situation." "You did? How did you deal with it?"_

_He frowned, "Well, like you I didn't think he was dead serious until one day…..I saw the fear in his eyes when I tried to take him when he didn't want it." _

_Sasori swallowed the lump in his throat, "I didn't realize what I'd done until that moment. I was such a fool for not noticing that I was causing my brat pain."_

_Kakuzu's breathing hitched, "I'm sorry that happened Sasori but I'm glad you told me. It's opened my eyes."_

_*She was taking a shower when Hidan sneaked in, trying to woo her yet again. "Damn it Hidan!" He gently held her still and purred, "Calm down babe, I just want to make out." _

"_No." He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away, "I said no Hidan!" "Please~" She glared at him with daggers and growled, "If you don't let go of me and leave I will punch you in the crotch." _

_Hidan found that threat funny even though he knew she was serious. "Why won't you let me fuck you Olivia?" "You're such an idiot for not realizing it by now so let go of me!" "No I won't fucking let go!" "Don't say I didn't warn you!"_

_A few more minutes of struggling and she managed to break her arm free. She landed a solid, full contact punch to his crotch before he let go. He groaned with a slight high pitch squeak as she quickly wrapped a towel around her and ran out. _

_He fell to his knees clutching his jewels with low groans when Kakuzu came in. Hidan shakily glanced at his lover, speaking in a high pitch voice, "I think she put all her fucking chakra into that punch!" _

_Kakuzu just smirked and ignored the metaphor, "She did warn you idiot." "I thought she was fucking bluffing."_

* * *

Madara laughed aloud, "The idiot would call it a bluff." **"I still give him hell about that." **"So, how did you three resolve that issue then?"

_The miser followed her after the blow to Hidan to one of the other bathrooms. The door was locked and used some threads to under the door to unlock it. He found her drying off, not bothering to stop the tears flowing down her cheeks._

"_Olivia?" She didn't look at him, "Go away." He sighed and just gently hugged her, leaning all the way down to her height. "Please forgive me." She relaxed a little but sniveled, "I don't know if I should."_

"_I didn't mean to harm you and I was such a fool for not realizing it but don't leave me. I can't lose you." She softly smiled and tenderly embraced him back, "I didn't want to lose you either but I'm glad you came to your senses."_

_He pulled back and murmured, "Does this mean I can you kiss now?" She nodded and tilted her head up. It felt like an eternity to kiss those lips she loved but this made it all better. _

_There was so much feeling in this kiss and when they broke it he cleared his throat, "Let me know when the strike is over so we can start over." She hugged him, "Ok." _

_At this point Hidan came in blubbering like a baby, pushing Kakuzu out of the way, "I'm so fucking sorry! Don't fucking leave me for someone else. I fucking love you damn it!"_

_She was stunned from this reaction but didn't push him away; it's not every day Hidan will come crying for forgiveness...or crying in general. _

_He kissed her neck and whined, "I won't fucking go against your wishes anymore I fucking promise. I'll be a man and let you do what you fucking want just don't stop loving me!" She smiled and kissed his cheek, "I forgive you Hidan."_

_He gave her that happy wide grin of his and looked at Kakuzu, "Did you fucking hear that old man? She still fucking loves me!" He went to him and buried his face into the masculine chest still blubbering._

* * *

Kakuzu smirked at the memory, "He actually believed she didn't love him anymore and was going to leave." Deidara nodded, "I never imagined he would react that way un."

Madara agreed, "Considering its Hidan I'm surprised he broke down like that."

Zetsu shook his head, "Not too surprising to me. He's never been loved and was alone the majority of his life so when one of the two people he holds dear gave the impression of leaving him, it's only natural he'd freak out."

Madara fiddled with his drink, "Right." Sasori did the same except remained silent, holding his lover's hand in a firm grip.

No one wants to be unloved and left all alone.

Now someone needed to liven up this dreary conversation or they'd all go to bed depressed.

* * *

**To be continued:**

**Probably just one more chapter readers; maybe a smutty one to make you happy XP**


	10. Bed & Table

"Is Itachi ok?" The raven had his head tilted back with those cute, pouty lips parted slightly. Kisame chuckled, "Looks like he's had it. I'll put him to bed then."

Deidara laughed, "Nah I'll do it, I'm going to bed anyway un." Sasori glanced at his lover, "Why so soon brat?" "What do you mean soon, its midnight un!" "Just kidding, go on." "**Looks like we all need some rest, especially Kakuzu."**

The miser growled, "I consumed a lot of alcohol. The rest of you hardly had any at all aside from those about to pass out." Tobi giggled, "Tobi can hold his liquor; he's a good boy."

Deidara hauled Itachi up, letting the drunken raven lean against him, "Come on drunk un." Itachi was groggy but muttered, "Don't scold me, I'm not drunk fool." "Right~ you just can't walk straight un."

The blonde put him to bed but had other intentions before he left. He molded his lips on the sexy raven while traveling his hand underneath the slacks to gain his prize.

Itachi weakly tried to protest but then gave in to the artisan's wishes. "Taking advantage of me you bastard." Deidara smirked and kissed the swollen lips, "You like it un."

* * *

*Madara smirked when Kakuzu stumbled out the room, tripping over his own foot before actually making it there. "I wonder if he'll violate Hidan before he collapses." Zetsu nodded, "I wouldn't put it past him."

"**At any rate, I'm going to bed." **"Have fun." Zetsu scowled at Madara and beckoned him over, "That means you too." The long haired raven rolled his eyes but followed, "Alright~"

Before they walked around the corner, Zetsu looked over his shoulder. "Tobi. I SAID I'm going to bed." The boy blushed like crazy but ran to his lover, "Tobi coming!" He wrapped an arm around him as all three left to Zetsu's place.

Kisame chuckled, "I know what they're going to do….minus Madara." Sasori nodded, "Well, it's just you and me now." Those beady eyes lit up and glanced over at the red head. Sasori noticed and glided out of his seat, "Goodnight."

Kisame caught him around the middle and tossed him on the table, "Let's finish the game little boy!" Sasori paled but a slight blush spread across his cheeks, "I'm NOT a little boy." A toothy grin was his response, "You are to me."

* * *

*The raven moaned softly as the blonde sucked on his member and probed him at the same time. "Deidaraaaa~" The blonde couldn't take those little moans anymore and grabbed the bottle of lube.

He hastily lubed up his member and slowly penetrated the lovely raven; taking in the tiny mewls and gasps of pleasure.

* * *

*Sasori was bent over the table and being held down as he received the rim job from Kisame. The red head groaned and wriggled his hips, wanting to feel that thick tongue deeper inside him.

He whined softly when it was removed and made Kisame chuckle, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you like being an uke." "Bastard!"

In the blink of an eye, Kisame rammed himself inside the puppet master, causing him to cry out. He bent over the small body, trying to support his weight on his forearm while his free hand kept a tight hold of the dainty hip.

He pounded into him hard and fast, murmuring huskily, "You like my thick cock inside you, don't you boy?" Low groans were his answer but that satisfied him none the less. Sasori was about to lose his head too.

The friction of his own leaking member was rubbing against the table's surface, making him want to release almost instantly.

After fifteen minutes of the harsh pounding an unexpected thing happened…CRACK! The table legs broke from the weight and motions, sending the two crashing onto the floor.

Kisame managed to keep his and Sasori's body from falling on full contact by holding the red head to his chest and supporting both of them on one hand….like a one hand stand.

Both chuckled but resumed until Sasori released onto the table surface and his chest, thus making Kisame go instantly.

* * *

*The blonde grabbed the raven's weeping member, allowing his skilled hands to lick all over it as his climax grew near. "Dei….ha..har….der…" The artisan smirked and went as hard as he was able until a loud mewl came from Itachi as he came.

The sight alone of the strings of cum covering the pale lithe chest made him want to lick it off, so he did. The blonde started sucking and licking the salty white substance off when he too came with a moan. "Tachi~ un"

Once he gained his breath back he cleaned Itachi up and himself, gave the raven a chaste kiss on the lips, and tiptoed out to not wake him.

He bumped into Olivia in the hallway, which was groggy and bumping into the wall. He steadied her asking, "What are you doing up un?" "I'm thirsty and my head hurts." "Let me help you un." "Ok."

When they got there, both their eyes went wide and gasped. "Danna un! Kisame!" The two called ones just smirked until Olivia spoke.

"You two broke the damn table!" Deidara laughed, "We keep telling the miser to get a sturdier one. This makes the second one destroyed un." Sasori snorted, "Third brat."

Kisame smiled, "I don't think anyone goes through kitchen tables like we do." Olivia sighed and clutched her throbbing head, "Kakuzu is NOT going to be happy!"

**FINISH!**

**Hope everyone enjoyed ;)**


End file.
